


If you were mine, if I was yours

by Lunayfirefly



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Feelings, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-20 05:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20669939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunayfirefly/pseuds/Lunayfirefly
Summary: "Seungcheol was tired of trying to be strong, and his heart broke even more when Jihoon admitted that he also felt something for the older, but he couldn’t be with him.""Jihoon had reached the point where he had to let go, but first he had to apologize to Seungcheol’s heart."They never defined their relationship, but it left smiles, hugs and kisses.But also tears, heartbreak and too many unspoken feelings.Jeonghan and Soonyoung had been there.Had seen the rise and had been there for the fall.And now Seungcheol and Jihoon had to make things clear.Because old feelings need a closure and new feelings shouldn't follow the same mistakes.





	1. Part 1 - Seungcheol

**Author's Note:**

> This story will have parts with different Seventeen members point of view. They are independent parts but are all connected to the same story.
> 
> 1 Seungcheol - 2 Jeonghan- 3 Jihoon - 4 Soonyoung - 5 Jihoon - 6 Seungcheol
> 
> (This story is cross-posted in Asianfanfics by Ttiyfb)

Seungcheol was about to knock on Jihoon’s studio door when he felt an ache on his chest. It wasn’t the first time he was going to do this. He had to make Jihoon return to the dorms and try to sleep at least a couple of hours. It was exactly in this same situation when he felt the first strains of their relationship a year ago.

They met when they were teenagers and they got closer so fast and so easy that it surprised both of them. They spent a lot of time together and the memories are still so precious to Seungcheol that it still hurts how things had changed. Dance practice, vocal practice, late night dinners, cuddles and shy kisses. 

They never defined their relationship because as soon as he was about to accept his own feelings for the younger, they were appointed as the leaders of Seventeen. They had already been brokenhearted after a failed debut plan in the past, so they chose to put all their effort on this new opportunity. However, this was just the first stone of a wall that ended being so tall that Seungcheol couldn’t talk or see the person who had been the most important in his life apart from his family. 

He made an effort. Every time Jihoon was at the studio, he would visit and bring him something to eat and try to make him relax. But Jihoon started changing with every hour in that studio. With every challenge in the Seventeen Project and with every song that his beautiful voice would record, he moved farther and farther away from Seungcheol. And at some point, not even banging on the door would make Jihoon open it.

They had barely talked during the last weeks of the project, except for the challenges, and Seungcheol being a touchy person was craving at least for a hug. And as time passed and the stress kept increasing, Seungcheol held on his last hope. He was also stressed by his new role in the group and even when he was trying his best, it was difficult. So in the end, in front of the other members at the campfire he couldn’t keep quiet and let all his emotions flow in his words.

“I think you are special….and I know you think that I’m special too.”

He had said those words pouring all his heart and Jihoon’s nod to that statement and his smile made it all worthy. Being able to hug him again, to caress his hair and smile with him made Seungcheol’s falling tears a mix of sadness and happiness. 

But that moment ended just like a dream, because when the cameras left and they were alone at the dorm, Jihoon disappeared again. The older didn’t want to let go of the moment. They needed to talk. Seungcheol had so many things to say that he couldn’t say on camera. But Jihoon had closed his heart to that conversation. His feelings weren’t rejected, but Jihoon preferred to remind him of their responsibilities, the showcase and Seungcheol had to admit that at the moment their priority should be the group and the members’ well-being. 

The members however had been worried for their leaders and after their successful showcase and when Seventeen’s situation seemed better than ever they told him to go for all. To say everything that had to be said, because they will fully support them. And in Seungcheol’s heart going for all meant going for Jihoon.

But Seungcheol was tired of trying to be strong, and his heart broke even more when Jihoon admitted that he also felt something for the older, but he couldn’t be with him. He didn’t want to beg, but Jihoon as always started talking about putting the group as their priority. And in a desperate attempt to keep the other close, he said it was fine to be just friends. That he wanted to walk the flowery path together, just like they had walked the bumpy road together on their trainee days. He just wanted Jihoon to try again, because the bond they had couldn’t be thrown away just like that. But Jihoon just said the same thing as before, that they were lucky enough to reach that point, that they have always put their dreams first and their feelings could ruin it all, that he couldn’t be with him.

A year had gone by quickly, but knocking on Jihoon’s studio door still reminded him of those moments. And the aching on his heart was still present even when he had started developing feelings for another person, because trying to be close to Jihoon hurt even more than letting him go. Because even when people say “good things take time”, he had waited long enough and things haven’t improved, so he had stopped hoping for a response from Jihoon. He didn’t want to keep going for a lost cause. And he came to realize that in the world there is always a strong person ready to mend every broken person.


	2. Part II - Jeonghan

Jeonghan had seen it all, how Seungcheol and Jihoon’s relationship started breaking. And that made him think about his own feelings for his best friend. Joshua and he were as close as the unit leaders, but he knew the other two had a stronger bond; a bond that mixed friendship and love feelings. But after the Seventeen Project ended, new bonds were formed in the group, and he had been with Seungcheol through all his heartbreak. 

Joshua had started questioning his new close relationship with the leader, but what about them? Had things changed between them during the project? And it seemed like it, because when Joshua confessed that he may have some feelings for him, Jeonghan could only say sorry. He didn’t want to try a relationship when he didn’t have romantic feelings for his best friend. He was sure that trying it by force would end up worse than fleeing.

And that conversation created a gap in their relationship. And Jeonghan let him go, because he knew the other needed space to sort his feelings. But time started passing by and their friendship was like in a stand by. He tried to patiently wait for the other, while his own friendship with Seungcheol started getting stronger. The older had told him all about his own story with Jihoon and he felt that he had to make a point clear to Joshua. Because he was not letting them have the same ending, he wasn’t going to throw away their bond. They have gone through so many things, getting close even with a language and cultural barrier. 

So he went straight to Joshua and stated that yeah, he didn’t felt the same, but he didn’t want their friendship to end. He wanted to make clear that Joshua could return to him just like he went away. That he knew the other was strong and just like he had faced on his feelings, he would accept at some point that it wasn’t luck that made them friends and that their bond went beyond being in a romantic relationship.

And he waited; with his hand stretched out he waited. But without thinking much about it, his other hand had already grabbed Seungcheol’s, and he didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to think it was because the other was heartbroken and was trying to find comfort. So he decided to go for his own growing feelings. He wasn’t sure if those feelings would last or if he was just excited with the idea of having those feelings. But every time he saw Seungcheol it was like meeting him for the first time. He felt excited and the other was touchy as always, searching for a hug or cuddle. And Jeonghan wasn’t sure if he was taking advantage of this for his own good or if those actions meant something more. 

He kept thinking about that and facing Jihoon for every recording made him think about it even more. Jihoon was amazing, a great voice, great dancing skills and not to forget his composing and writing skills. While Jeonghan was still working on improving his singing voice and worked hard to stop himself from giving up the dance practice and just lay on the floor. He wasn’t sure if he could compete with that in Seungcheol’s heart. 

But as people say there are right words for every situation, Jeonghan realized that there are people like that and they don’t even know it; because Joshua came back and started cheering for him. Joshua cheered for him in every aspect, his professional and his personal life more than he had ever done. And just like that he had his best friend back, and he couldn’t be more thankful as his feelings for Seungcheol just kept growing. Because he had seen first-hand two brokenhearted people and he didn’t want to be part of that list, but he had also come to realize that if you are never hurt, you won’t know what makes you happy.


	3. Part III - Jihoon

Jihoon could hear the faint noise of a knock on his door. He didn’t want to take off his earphones or turn around. He could be completely focused on his work, but it was always at this time when he could hear that soft knock and he knew who the person behind the door was. It was a routine that had no deeper meaning than the leader fulfilling his role. 

It had been more than a year since the last time he had an actual conversation with Seungcheol that was not work related or in front of the other producers or their group members. He could barely look into the eyes of the older one, because his heart would hurt and the memories would bring tears to his eyes.

He remembered the last time they talked about their feelings. How he was so adamant to keep a straight face while his heart was breaking. How all he could think of was protecting their group. How all the advices from their CEO and his fellow producers invaded his mind; and now that he thinks about it, they seemed to be good-nature advices, but maybe those words just made him follow the executives’ will instead of his own wishes to be happy. Because at that time Seungcheol and him were already far away even when neither of them wanted to let go of their feelings. 

He remembered running to their dorm bathroom and washing his tear stained face with so much water that he choked on it. He knew all the responsibility he was carrying and that Seungcheol had his own quota, but their feelings were so confusing for him. Bumzu hyung knew he always had problems expressing his feelings while talking, so he encouraged him to write them on his lyrics.   
And when the time arrived to write their debut song and he was faced with Seungcheol tired face inside the studio room, he started writing.

“These days I have a lot of thoughts.  
These days, I have so much to tell you.”

“Even if my lips are dry, I need to say this baby  
I adore you, I adore you, enough to get dizzy” 

That was all he wanted to say to the older one, but he knew it wasn’t as simple as just saying it. They could be happy for a moment, but when the burden of their roles and the company pressure would stack up, he didn’t want to shout to the other again. The crack in their relationship that Seventeen Project created was something that time hasn’t mended. And all of that was his fault. 

His stubborn character and his fear to ruin it all if he didn’t worked hard enough always made him sensible; like a ticking bomb that always ended exploding in front of Seungcheol. The other’s tired and hurt face was something Jihoon didn’t want to see again, so their distance just kept growing. Every time he looked at himself in the mirror, his hopes to fix things just kept disappearing. So he just kept writing.

“The distance between me and you has no progress  
So far away”

“When you look at me you’re so beautiful  
I want to tell you  
All of you that I see  
I want to cherish it  
Just come to me   
I want you to want me baby”

But at this point he had stopped expecting anything from himself or their relationship. Jihoon had been too immature to deal with his feelings, with the pressure and with the expectations of everyone around him. He was the one who had pushed the other away and Seungcheol stopped trying to come back to him. The older even stopped saying what he always said about their bond and that they shouldn’t throw it away. Stopped talking about walking together and that they should at least try it. 

And now when he was finally learning to cope with the stress and stopped listening to advices that sounded like lies, Seungcheol had thrown their memories together to the back of his mind. So Jihoon just kept writing.

“You must listen to this song  
Don’t listen and pretend you haven’t  
If you hear my heart  
Can’t you come back to me?”

Now more than ever he misses Seungcheol, because there is no one like him. Because the more Jihoon tried to stay away, the more he fell for the older one; because he never learnt how to forget him.

“I’m still, I’m still  
Waiting for you  
I’m not even tired  
Although I’m getting scared.

Still, believing in time  
Because everyone says it’s medicine  
Even if I’m a fool,   
when I close my eyes  
Nothing changes.”

Those lyrics were so real for him, because Jihoon doubted that time could erase the feeling of what could have been and hasn’t been. He had been a coward that didn’t act on his feelings and just waited, and no matter how much he wants to change things, nothing changes. Because Jihoon had realized that he had been trying to solve everyone’s problems, but didn’t focus on his own. 

And now, looking at Seungcheol’s smile while he hugs Jeonghan, he had to accept that their paths will end up splitting and that the older had chosen another person. Because things were like that and even when Jihoon’s heart got warm looking at Seungcheol being happy, it still hurt to see him by other person’s side. Jeonghan was amazing, always helped Seungcheol deal with the team responsibilities, kept calm through the crisis and just kept improving each day. But most of all, he embraced Seungcheol like he never wanted to let go. So Jihoon just kept writing.

“Tears fall again  
Tears endlessly fall  
Do I really need to end things now?  
I don’t know, I don’t know

Why now?  
Why am I seeing you now?  
Can you hug me even though I’m far away?  
I don’t know, I don’t know”

The studio door opened and Jihoon felt the Seungcheol presence behind him. He instructed him to return to the dorms and sleep a bit since they had an interview in the morning. 

Jihoon took off his earphones and turned around slowly. They had shared so many happy and sad memories in that studio. And he didn’t want to let go. It was bittersweet and his heart was pounding so loud that he was sure Seungcheol could listen to it. He looked up at the older that hasn’t moved making sure he would stop working. So Jihoon saw his shocked expression when he said “I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

He was tired of trying to be strong and if he didn’t accept his fault he would probably lose the other forever, even as a friend. Didn’t matter if they shared the same schedule, the wall between Seungcheol and he had become too tall. Jihoon had reached the point where he had to let go, but first he had to apologize to Seungcheol’s heart. 

“I still think you are special.” 

He had to say goodbye. Goodbye to the past. Goodbye to the hope. Goodbye to the love that he punched with his own hands.   
And he had to find peace on his own by saying goodbye to the idea of them together.   
But his heart was still hurting. 

“But what should I do for you to think the same thing of me?” Jihoon said with tears falling. 

You don’t love me anymore.   
That was the only thought in the younger’s mind.

But then he felt arms around him, Seungcheol warm chest covering his crying face and his hands caressing his back and hair.

“What can I do now?  
I’m just standing here  
Where we used to be together

Don’t listen in secret  
Even if this song becomes inaudible  
This song that I made for you  
Don’t listen in secret”

Because Jihoon had decided to walk back to the path he had left more than a year ago. He wanted to return to the point where they could talk freely, smile at the smallest things and finally be completely honest with their feelings; even if this time it meant Seungcheol would be the one saying they couldn’t be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics in the story are from Seventeen's songs: Adore U, Don't listen in secret and I don't know.  
And the English translation from colorcodedlyrics.com


	4. Part IV - Soonyoung

Soonyoung sighed as he looked at his reflection on the mirror of the practice room. It was past midnight and the other members had returned to the dorms. Chan wanted to stay with him, but he convinced the younger that he wanted some practice on his own. He had tried to practice, but his mind hadn’t stop wandering to the person in the studio just a few rooms away. 

It had been a year since he saw Seungcheol and Jihoon talking in their dorm kitchen at 4am. The lights were off and their voices hushed, but he saw how Jihoon was trying to wipe his tears with his hands. Seungcheol had hugged the other and didn’t let go for a while.

Soonyoung didn’t know what to think of the scene. Before their debut the three of them had been really close. Jihoon would always help them with their singing and Soonyoung would help them practice the dance moves. He knew Jihoon admired him by his dance skills, but Seungcheol was always his favorite. Seungcheol wasn’t the best singer or dancer at that time, but there was something that had left Jihoon enamored. And that left Soonyoung feeling bitter even when he cherished both of them as good friends.

He didn’t want to feel like that, so he focused his attention on practice and getting to know the other members like Seungkwan and Seokmin that shared the same energy with him. And that seemed to mask his feelings well enough that he couldn’t be happier when the three of them were appointed as the unit leaders. He had thought it would be for the best. Seungcheol and Jihoon had been exhilarated and Soonyoung was determined to leave them be happy together; but as their reality show started things changed between the other two leaders. It was like hitting a glass with a small stone. It broke little by little until Jihoon threw the last stone and broke it completely.

Soonyoung had seen Seungcheol anguish and Jihoon coldness. He didn’t want for them to be like that, mostly when their debut was just around the corner and the other members needed their guidance. But he saw it, saw how hurt both of them were and saw how Seungcheol searched for comfort in Jeonghan. On the contrary, Jihoon isolated himself from the members except for practice, and completely focused on music. 

With the passing time he saw how Seungcheol gave up, Jihoon coldness being too much for his fragile heart. But Soonyoung couldn’t ignore that. He knew it was Jihoon who pushed the other away, but he was hurting just as much. 

And it didn’t matter how much he tried to belittle the feelings he had for the younger one, they have always been there and all he wanted was to see him smile for real. Even if in Jihoon’s heart Seungcheol was the main character, he wanted at least to be the joker. 

But it had been more than two years since he took that decision and to be that character in Jihoon’s heart wasn’t enough anymore.  
Seungcheol and Jihoon’s friendship had started again, slowly but strong after that conversation in the kitchen a year ago, but Soonyoung was now the one facing Jihoon’s closed door.

He had taken upon the job of pulling Jihoon back to the dorms instead of Seungcheol and that had made them closer. They have exchanged so many music ideas and he had collaborated in the composing and lyrics of some songs. It seemed like the studio had remained as Jihoon safe haven.

And it was in there where Soonyoung had expressed his feelings for the other just a couple of months ago. He hadn’t pressure him for an answer, but he still wasn’t sure if Jihoon even cared about them. 

The younger shared his thoughts with him in the studio, but outside, in front of the members or the cameras he would always reject any advances, even the ones with just friendly nature. Soonyoung was just trying to make him smile, but that smile was always accompanied with some rejection. He knew he shouldn’t care that much about the actions in front of the camera as they all acted for an entertainment purpose, but Jihoon never rejected the other members. He even hugged them and put his head on their shoulder, so when the opportunity for any hug or kiss arrived with the help of a MC, Soonyoung would try to show how much he cared. 

Because maybe Jihoon was scared, scared of his thoughts, scared of his feelings. He had been really affectionate to Seungcheol, to the point where the management had talked to him about it and the last thing Soonyoung wanted was to hurt his heart again. But sometimes he just wanted to explode, to shout all his feelings for the other in front of everyone. But he knew Jihoon would walk away from him if he did that.

The members told him he was really obvious about his feelings and even their fans shipped the two of them together. But if they only knew how important Jihoon had become for him. How lost he would feel if the other actually decided to reject him like he did with Seungcheol.

He had said to himself more than once that things had to change. He couldn’t be overthinking all the time if he should make any physical contact with Jihoon or if the other looked back at Seungcheol longer than usual. But he couldn’t help it; he faced his feelings with basic logic as if they were instincts.

Because he was thankful for anything that Jihoon was, even if it hurt. Because even if it hurt like burning, he knew he would happily walk forward into Jihoon’s flame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And for the kudos <3


	5. Part V - Jihoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3

Jihoon couldn’t help but snicker when Soonyoung started talking animatedly behind him. They were at the studio and Jihoon had to stop working, because the older one hadn’t stopped talking since he entered the room.

Jihoon felt shocked the first time Soonyoung entered the studio telling him he should return to the dorms. His heart broke, because he thought Seungcheol didn’t want to see him even though they had talked a lot about fixing their friendship. But to his surprise, Soonyoung confessed he had begged the leader to let him fetch Jihoon. 

Things have changed from that day on, because Soonyoung changed from being just a faint a presence, to be everywhere. And Jihoon seemed to have changed from being just a good friend to the older, to be the center of his universe. 

Just like Seungcheol, Soonyoung was a touchy person, but for Jihoon their touches felt different. Many members have asked him why he didn’t accept Soonyoung’s touches. He was even comfortable with being hugged by Jeonghan. And he couldn’t deny that Seungcheol’s touches were always soothing. 

But the truth is that he had asked himself the same question.   
Why? Why do you go away? Why do you reject him?   
I don’t know.

Because it had been three years since their debut and even when things with Seungcheol were not completely fixed, he had let go of the romantic feelings he had for the other and started anew. Because the memories of kisses and night cuddles would remain as that and Jihoon was finally okay with it.

But as time has passed by, and he spent more time with Soonyoung sharing what they loved the most, he had come to another realization.  
To the realization that Seungcheol felt like home, a soothing place to rest his burdened heart. They had known each other for so long and after everything that happened; Seungcheol was still a soothing presence by his side.

But Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung was fire, was water, was lightning and thunder; and each touch felt electric and heart-pounding.  
Soonyoung felt like music, made him feel up and down, made him feel proud and shy, but never left his head and heart.

But maybe Jihoon was just scared of messing things up. He didn’t want to repeat what happened with Seungcheol, this time he wanted to be sure. So he had waited for Soonyoung to give him a clue of his feelings. But even with that green light after Soonyoung confession, Jihoon didn’t know if he should cross the line. 

Other members had strengthened their bond and were already a couple, only known by the group; but Jihoon’s thoughts about putting the group in risk because of his feelings or his own sake, haunted him every night. He was still strict with song recording as much as Soonyoung was with dance practice, and maybe that was the reason the other never seemed to get hurt when Jihoon’s temper started to flare up. He was the receiver of bright smiles and laughs that he couldn’t help but reciprocate.

Soonyoung took his opinion about songs with the highest importance, as if only Jihoon’s words would make it successful and the younger felt more than appreciated. That is why he wanted to show the other he was not stone-made, that he actually cared about what was going on with them and that if the other decided to leave his side, Jihoon wouldn’t know what to do. 

It had been a few months since the confession, but it was never easy for him to express his feelings, so things had stayed the same. But he didn’t want to hide behind that shield anymore, didn't want to feel that knot in his throat every time his looked up at the other. His fears about his career, about his feelings, about what others could see or say had become a great wall, but he knew he could climb it if Soonyoung didn’t let go of his hand. 

So he stood up from the studio chair and sat beside Soonyoung on the sofa. The older was a bit surprised as it was always him the one approaching Jihoon. 

“Why do you keep turning my heart on and off  
However you want?  
I didn’t say I didn’t like it  
I’m just worried  
That you’ll get too tired  
That’s how I feel”

“What do I do with you?  
I look at you but I think of you even more  
If this was all really a dream  
What do I do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics in the story are from Seventeen's song: Oh My!  
And the English translation from genius.com


	6. Part VI - Seungcheol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading (and a big thanks for the kudos <3) and I wish you enjoy the last chapter. 
> 
> I know the chapters had quite big time lapses between each other, but I wanted to portray the main events from the different characters’ point of view as years passed. 
> 
> Also I couldn’t stop myself from using SVT song’s lyrics when Jihoon was involved. He is such a great composer and lyricist.

“Jihoon”

The younger turned around slowly and gave Seungcheol a small smile after hearing his name being called.

They had just received the copy of the lyrics for the track “Home” and with each word Seungcheol felt the warmth of their rebuilding friendship. The members had been happy while listening to Jihoon’s demo and the title track was decided just like that. They all trusted their main composer and were ready to start working in their own parts along with the choreography. 

He was excited too as every album was a new opportunity. A reminder that they were still there, that their pre debut dream did came true and that they had a loving fandom that recognized all their hard work.

He turned to look back at Jihoon, but the other was completely focused on Soonyoung and showing his dazzling smile. Soonyoung had started doing random steps that Seungcheol was sure were going to end in the final choreography. But he knew Jihoon’s smile had a deeper meaning than just being amused by the steps.

Seungcheol had been blind to it while trying to get over his own feelings for the younger, but after their conversation in the kitchen, the situation became clear. Soonyoung’s feelings were obvious, but he could see Jihoon’s indecision. He knew that situation very well as he had been through it with Jeonghan. It also took him a while to accept his new feelings, but he knew giving an opportunity to the other was the best decision. They had a strong relationship and Jeonghan was the best partner to help him dealing with the members. He was always caring and made Seungcheol feel like everything would be alright.

Just like when he was heartbroken, the soft but constant support from Jeonghan made things easier to bear. When he needed a hand to hold, a hug, a smile or simply someone looking back at him, Jeonghan had been there. Many times he had asked himself until when he had to keep waiting for Jihoon and since when he had started losing himself in the process. He had poured those same questions in front of Jeonghan and had received nothing but an open heart full of love. The older had felt horribly at the possibility of hurting the other as much as he had been hurt. But Jeonghan had his own way of dealing with things and gave him time to think about it with no pressure.

Seungcheol had been thankful for that and now with just holding the other in his arms it felt like everything would be alright. Jeonghan had told him that nothing was everlasting, but every time he was with the other it felt like time had stopped. He was sure their hearts were beating at the same pace and they could share so much love through kissing. 

But his concern for Jihoon was something he knew wouldn't change. As long as the other was sad, Seungcheol knew he wouldn't be completely happy.

The day Soonyoung had asked him if he could pick up Jihoon from the studio, Seungcheol had been wary. They had just started talking again a few days ago and the older didn't want to cut that, but he knew he couldn't be selfish. Not after hearing Soonyoung being completely honest with his feelings. And Seungcheol knew their performance leader would be good to Jihoon. 

After that day, the two younger leaders had become closer and it was clear that Soonyoung made Jihoon happy. He was always smiling and laughing when he looked at the dancer; and Seungcheol wished they could show the same fondness they had inside the recording studio when they were out it. He didn't want to pressure the younger, but he could see Soonyoung trying to smile over Jihoon’s constant rejection and it pained him. Jeonghan told him he shouldn't meddle, that Jihoon would open his heart on his own time, but it wasn't easy.

Not when he read lyrics to songs that he knew were reflection of Jihoon’s feelings and he just wanted to hug the other and tell him that it was okay to try again. That even when their relationship didn't work, he shouldn't be afraid of his feelings for another person. That he could overcome all the fears that pushed them away if he was with the right person. That even if it was okay to be a bit afraid, pushing the other away would only hurt both of them. 

“I know, hyung.” Jihoon said after being victim of Seungcheol’s intense gaze when he pushed Soonyoung out of the couch. They didn't talked about it, but the older was sure they were getting back at their communication without words and that made him feel at peace. The way Jihoon started to reciprocate to his actions in and out of stage was something that made Seungcheol extremely happy. Also it was always fun to tease the younger when he got distracted by the performance team leader’s antics. So he couldn't help but laugh when Soonyoung’s loud voice boomed in their practice studio one night.

“Ah-ha! I have some important news” he practically shouted while motioning for the members to sit down. Jihoon was looking down clearly embarrassed by the other’s actions, so Seungcheol just patted his shoulders and gave him a smile.

It wasn't really that surprising for the members, some of them even joked about a bet of how long it would take Jihoon to accept Soonyoung. And between more jokes and laughs everything had seemed to be getting better than ever. But they had to focus on their coming presentations and next mini album, so Jihoon gave Seungcheol a playful glare before leaving an overexcited Soonyoung and returning to the studio.

It had been a few weeks after that, and as the members started leaving the meeting room ready to practice the lyrics before the recording day, Seungcheol approached the composer. He was proud of the younger. Once again he had made an amazing job with the songs and Seungcheol was sure the mini album would be a success. Jihoon looked tired, but satisfied; however Seungcheol knew he had stayed behind to wait for him. It was the first time he had heard “Home” as an entire song, this time Jihoon had been really secretly about it.

“Jihoonie... ” he said standing next to the other. 

“Cheol hyung....” the younger said turning to look at him.

They stood there in a comfortable silence listening to the voices of the members talking animatedly outside of the room. 

“You are my home too, Jihoon.”

Seungcheol said those words thinking of all the years they had spent together practicing, eating, laughing and even fighting and crying. How they had grown up and endured the hardships in front of them. Now they had someone new by their side, but Seungcheol knew he wouldn't be himself if it wasn't for Jihoon in his life.

And when he turned to look at the younger, he was met with a smile he had to return. They smiled at each other in a knowing way and Seungcheol launched himself into a hug even when Jihoon tried to push him away. They stayed like that listening to the voices of their main vocals practicing outside.

“If you look at it, it may be difficult  
Anytime, I will always be standing here  
You can think of it in a comfortable way 

Cause’ I’m your home home home home  
The place where you can cry  
The place where you can come.”

And Seungcheol just tightened his hug, because he knew that retelling the story he had created with Jihoon would not only bring tears or smiles, but a bit of both at the same time, and he wouldn't want it in any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics in the story are from Seventeen's song: Home  
And the English translation from https://lyricskpop.net/lyrics/seventeen-home-english-translation/


End file.
